A friend in need…

She’s never liked her girlfriend’s boyfriend. But she never really came out and told her…even after all these years.

Last week he dumped her…by email!!

What a dick.

So she bought the book for her.

She’ll figure it out with time…it was a blessing in disguise.

Still on tilt

OK – I know the odds of me winning the whole thing were slim – 180 to 1. But I was feeling lucky. As I sat down and started playing, though, I realized that it would be even tougher than I thought. There were 180 players to start. Everyone bought in for $1,000. For the first four rounds (of 15 minutes each) you could buy in again for another $1,000. Some of these guys bought in 3 or 4 times! I had my work cut out for me! The players were almost exclusively from various Wall street firms. In fact, when one guy at my table asked me “who I was with,” I sheepishly told him that I wasn’t “with” any firm, but that I had won a satellite tournament to get there. He promptly announced to the table, “we have a ringer here!,” so I adjusted my play accordingly, bluffing (with success) much more than I usually do.

I made it through the first four rounds without a hitch. Then, came the sudden death round, which I looked forward to, where there were no more add-ons or re-buys. People dropped like flies.

Of the original 180 players, there were about 40 left, and I was one of them. I was getting a feel for the players at my table, and noticed that this one guy was playing looser and looser as the night wore on, and as his level of inebriation increased.

I was on the button. This guy raised 5 times the big blind. Everyone folded.

I decided to make my move with ace, ten of hearts and went all-in.

He was bullshit – jack, four offsuit.

The flop: two, ten, three. The turn: queen. The river: jack.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

$1,000 Buy-In

Well, we’ll see how it goes tomorrow night at 80 5th avenue at 7:00 pm.

Wish me luck!

It’s the 4th Annual No Limit Texas Hold’em Charity Poker Tournament to benefit Multiple Sclerosis (sponsored by the World Poker Tour.) I will be among 200 players facing off against each other to win an entry into the World Poker Tour Celebrity Invitational out in Commerce, California. Though the buy-in is $1,000, I won a tournament on the upper west side last March ($100 buy-in) that entitled me to a seat for the event. Whoever wins tomorrow night wins a seat out in Commerce worth $25,000, and an opportunity to play with some poker pros and celebs.

Sure would be nice. (I really just want to play with Rosario Dawson.)

Here’s the link: http://www.mshopeforacure.org/

Exchange of Ideas

When two guys from different parts of the world stop by my table, the conversation that develops is always interesting. What it’s like in Madrid, for instance, compared to New York? How do guys act? How do women act? Are their big cultural differences? Apparently, there are. British women have told me that their men are generally not as forward as the men in New York City. ( I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.) These same British women also argue that their countrymen are more polite, in general. When I tell New Yorkers that, they usually just shrug their shoulders, and mutter, “Who gives a #(%@?”

YouTube – TV interview with Randall Klitz

Talk about a “Bad Beat!”

Imagine going out with a guy for a while, falling into a great groove, and being so happy together that one day he asks you to marry him – just cause it feels so right!

You make plans, you start thinking about your life collectively, you travel to Australia, where he lives, and… RIGHT before the big day…drum roll please…he calls everything off.

He can hardly speak.

How could he just “freeze up” like that, you think to yourself, as the computer screen in your West Village apartment does the same, locking up his last IM to you.

Wow…that sucks.

Kimberly, all I can think of right now is that old cliche: “There are plenty of fish in the ocean.”

I know you bought my book, as you said, “to find a little humor in life at this juncture,” and I hope it helps.

I think that guy’s crazy.

She works nearby

Always happy to see Carmelina’s smiling face as she goes to and from work in Soho.

“Slow Playing”

They know what they’re doing. Don’t ask Chantal to speak French unless you want to get light-headed and lose your train of thought. Najah, who told me “I got your book on my coffee table at home,” has a sense of humor as large as the Lone Star state where she’s from. When you talk to them together, you’ve gotta fasten your seat belt. They’re cool, and funny, and heads turn as you try to hold a conversation with them. But they’re actually easy to talk to. And as long as you’re down to earth, like them, and don’t try to impress ‘em with all kinds of bullshit, they seem happy to hang out.

As I spoke to them, two photographers that passed by couldn’t help themselves, and interrupted by asking them if they’ve ever modelled. They both gave a polite, “no.” After the excited photographers left with their contact numbers for possible future work, I asked them if it was true that they had never modelled. They laughed, and said “of course not!” So I asked the obvious…”then why did you …?” Before I could finish they interrupted and said it was just easier to deal with people that way. I guess they’ve figured out that slow playing at the first meeting is not only easier, but probably economically beneficial later on.

The End Game

Rich is his name, for all you women out there who are wondering who this guy is, and if he’s single. (I’ve got his email for you if you want to get in touch.) The answer is yes, he is available – fresh off a relationship that has put him “on tilt.” I met him on Prince street. I was in my usual spot selling my book, and Rich showed up one weekend morning to work for Honest Tea, giving out samples of the stuff. It actually tasted pretty good.

Rich confided in me that he’s newly single, and he’s a little freaked out about it – it’s been a while since he’s had to put himself out there. Fortunately for Rich, he has no problem meeting new women. And everything goes great… for a while. It’s the “closing of the deal” that seems to be the weakest part of his game. By his own admission, he told me that his “end game sucks.” Hard to believe coming from a guy who seems to be “letting it fly” (in a good way) with the random women passing by.

I observed his opening game on the street. Great. (He didn’t even realize that some of the women he chatted up while selling his tea actually gave him the “look back” as they strolled away.) He says his middle game is spot on. I believe that. I can see how he’d be able to hold a decent conversation with just about anyone he meets. So, what’s the deal with Rich…?!

I really think it’s a simple case of tightening up in the clutch. From what I’ve observed, women like a confident man. They feel at ease if they can see that the guy is comfortable in his own skin. If they sense that he’s slowly getting a bit “unnerved” as that first intimate moment approaches, the red flag goes up. Hesitation creeps in.

You feel it. She feels it. Your mind races. You feel like you’ve got to round the bases fast before the umpire stops you and shouts “foul!” Though it doesn’t feel at all right, you just keep going cause you’re not really hearing that well anyway. You round third. You try an awkward slide into the plate…Bang! You’re out at home! “I’m out…?!,” you mutter. Dude, you were out by a mile.

We’ve all been there. No worries, man. Dust yourself off and try again.

Confidence breeds confidence. All it takes is one success story, Rich, and you’ll get on such a roll, you’ll be surprised if you DON’T win the next time you go “all-in.“

Bombay Dreams in Central Park

My two worlds – as a musician and an author came together briefly in Central Park last weekend at The New York Book Festival. Two cool sisters, Anita and Snita, came to my booth and checked out my book, The Winner’s Guide to Dating (What I Learned about Love and Sex from Playing Texas Hold em.)” They were on vacation in The Big Apple from the great city of Toronto, and had that pleasant vibe that most Canucks have. When I’ve toured in Canada as a musician, I’ve always found the people there generally laid-back, and a notch more polite than their American counter-parts. Anyway, they read my small bio on the back cover of my book, and asked me what Broadway show I had toured with most recently. I told them the last show I played bass for was Bombay Dreams. They asked if that was the same tour that went through Toronto at the Hummingbird Centre for the Performing Arts. I said “yes.” And they both blurted out, in stereo, “We saw that!”

We laughed, and I told them how surprised I was to see so many Indian people turning out for the show throughout the U.S. and Canada. The show, which was not a GREAT show, but fun to play if you’re a musician (especially a rhythm section player), sold very well in almost every major city we went to. Who knew, that in Dallas, Texas, for instance, there’s a relatively large Indian community? And growing, I understand. Does that mean that sooner or later out of the Lone Star State we’ll be able to eat a Texan Mexican Indian bread called a “Nanjita?” Boom shakalaka!